Teaching your child about race, racism, and racial identity (and unlearning harmful stereotypes) is an ongoing process. Remember to show yourself some grace. Start by acknowledging that you likely won’t have all the answers and you’ll probably make mistakes from time to time; we all do and that’s ok. What’s important is opening yourself up to continued growth and learning.
Below are a few considerations to keep in mind:
Check your biases
Children’s attitudes and beliefs about race, racism, and racial identity are initially shaped by the messages, both implicit and explicit, they receive from parents, caregivers, and other trusted adults (Bigler & Wright, 2014; Nelson, 2015). If left unchecked, parents and caregivers can unintentionally pass down stereotypes and prejudicial attitudes to their children. Checking your biases starts by thinking about what you were taught at home, at school, and in your community about people with different racial and ethnic identities than you.
- What stereotypes were perpetuated within your home, whether consciously or unconsciously?
- What messages or stories did your parent(s), caregiver(s), and other trusted adults share about people with a different racial or ethnic identity than you?
Think about how the messages you internalized as a child have shaped your attitudes and beliefs about race, racism, and racial identity today.
Resource Spotlight:
The Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History & Culture provides insightful reflection questions and resources to help parents and caregivers understand and assess personal biases.
Take a scaffolded, developmental approach
Like us, children and youth are at different levels of awareness and understanding about race, racism, and racial identity. Beyond developmental differences, factors such as lived experiences, their personal racial and/or ethnic identity, exposure to people with diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds, and the extent to which they’ve thought and talked about race and racism will help determine what your child already knows. Asking open-ended questions is an effective way to assess your child’s level of understanding. Whatever your child’s age, it’s always important to be honest and validate emotions.
Resource Spotlight:
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This guide from the Children’s Hospital of Orange County outlines age-specific recommendations for talking to children and youth about race and racism.
Use resources, like children’s books, to facilitate dialogue
When it comes to talking about race and racism, knowing what to say and how to say it can be a challenge – especially with younger children. Luckily, there is no shortage of well-written, developmentally accessible books for children of all ages. Reading books with racially and ethnically diverse characters is an effective way to generate dialogue with your child about race, racism, and racial identity while celebrating the differences that make us unique.
Resource Spotlight:
The American Academy of Pediatrics’ Healthy Children website provides recommendations and strategies for selecting the right book(s) for your child.
Take stock of your child’s toys and media consumption
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Taking stock requires intentionality about what messages your child is receiving relative to race, racism, and racial identity. It can start by simply reviewing the toys your child plays with. What racial and ethnic groups are most represented? Which are the least represented?
- Next, think about your child’s favorite books, movies, and television shows. Who are the main characters? How are white people portrayed? How are people of color portrayed? Having access to racially and ethnically diverse toys, books, and media with multi-dimensional characters will help your child think about race, racism, and racial identity in more positive and complex ways while reducing prejudicial attitudes (Allport, 1954).
Resource Spotlight:
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This report from Common Sense Media demonstrates the role of media in shaping children's and youths’ understanding of race and ethnicity.
End on a hopeful note and encourage action
Conversations about race, racism, and racial identity can be emotionally taxing. Be sure to end on a hopeful note by focusing on the steps individuals and communities – including and especially young people like them – have taken to foster racial equity and understanding. Nurture civic engagement by encouraging your child to get involved in efforts to address racism, like writing a letter to their elected representative or participating in a social justice club at school.
Resource Spotlight:
This inspiring piece from WGBH Radio illustrates the past and present racial justice contributions of young people.
Be proactive and make sure this isn’t a one-time conversation
Raising a race-conscious child is not a box to be checked; it requires ongoing dialogue, continued exposure to racial and ethnic diversity, and a sustained commitment to racial understanding and equity. Equally important is the need to be proactive and lead by example. Rather than waiting for your child to come to you or sitting idly until a crisis dominates the news cycle, start having conversations about race, racism, and racial identity now. Consult this curated list of resources to get started.
References
Allport, G. W. (1954). The nature of prejudice. Addison-Wesley.
Bigler, R. S., & Wright, Y. F. (2014). Reading, writing, arithmetic, and racism? Risks and benefits to teaching children about intergroup biases. Child Development Perspectives, 8(1), 18–23.
Nelson J. K. (2015). Racism and anti-racism in families: Insights from performativity theory. Sociology Compass, 9, 487-498.
Publication date: July 10, 2023
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